Here I am today

I have wanted to post several times but have not had the basics...internet connection. I always seem to get distracted and never seem to write down what I want to post.

There has been a lot that I have discovered about myself that is honestly NEW to me. I feel I will have to wait to share it all, primarily because I have to go home and don't have that internet. but i thought that I would share something. I had attended a divorce recover group and they talked about how there are stages and how you will walk through them. As with i feel everyone I'm not even close to following them in order! I've been through the denial and anger and moved on to whats next but I'm grieving last....

Yup... I'm sad that a relationship, a person, has been taken out of my life. I don't get to hear his jokes or race him to the mailbox or even hear him say one of his ridiculous nick names he had for me. That is gone and not coming back. Its taken me a bit to realize that I miss those things and yet also know that in grieving those things I don't have to go back; too living in a relationship that was destructive to myself and the other person. I have a really good mother and she listens when I call and cry.

Although, it has been strange to start grieving, its at least nice to know where and what I am...I'm not crazy, not in denial, might still get angry but grieving is what it is today and with so much it take time to move forward..in one piece.

Elizabeth M will: cry, grieve, smile, laugh...and one day...fully know and be herself.

A New Year and a Season of Hope

For many of you who read (all five of you) its been a few weeks. I have had plenty to blog about but as I have tried to continue to do, i only blog when its the right time. Today is the right time.

I have never felt that celebrating a new year is something that should or even does impact the season of life that i am in. This year is not different. I'm blessed in this season, with deepening friendships, family, new love, hope and an overwhelming feeling of thankfulness. I don't find myself in a season of beginning or end. just in a season. I'm excited about tomorrow but am content in typing in this moment.

There are many stories that i would like to share with you and will, when its time. I really do love you all. I'm so clearly blessed to have the people in my life that love me. Gee i'm just so happy today, and have so much to say, my cup is deff. full.

Those of you waiting for my promised Christmas card, it has not been forgotten or canceled. I decided that i would send out a After the holiday card. It was stressing me out to get everything together so I figured that i would take a moment to get what i need done and then when i could get to it i would send out my CHRISTMAS CARDS. Please keep an eye open for yours in the mail.

Lots of love

Elizabeth M... here today in 2010..oops... i mean 2011!

Tailgating and a Football Game

This past Saturday I went with my friends Sarah and Ryan Ayme tailgating. I then was privileged to go with my new friend Box to the LSU football game. We played washers also known as "redneck horseshoes" and Box and I ALMOST beat Ryan and Cliff but alas the final throw came down to me and I was not successful. But it was so close and Cliff and Ryan were sure nervous. I had a fantastic time learning about LSU, their traditions and cheers. I think that I will enjoy football season next year for sure.

Thanks you friends for such a wonderful "cultural" experience and a great day!

Elizabeth M. likes LSU football

All who Wonder, are Not lost

The tittle of this post is a quote from Tolkien and was on a card that my friend sent to me as encouragement. Accompanied in this card were some inspirational words and a quote that I want to share with you.

The Quote:

"Courage does not always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying 'i will try again tomorrow'".

My friend wrote this to me after I shared my fear about now knowing what is next.

"I for sure understand what you're saying about not going somewhere, i'm feeling a lof of that now, but (beth) WE are not lost, nor have we lost our way! Maybe standing with nothing in front of you is a test to see if you can stay standing. Stand, Beth! Stand! Know that you are not alone."

Its taken me almost a month to write my friend back because I wanted to match her inspirational something or other but alas i have not found anything as inspiring as that.

So she is getting a magnet and a card too. However, they may inspire nothing more then the need to send me back a card. Which is something i can live with...

Elizabeth M, loves to send cards.

Superwomen...keeps going and going....and..

I was reminded today of the fact that I am not invincible. Nor can I continue to run around like the energizer bunny. I need to learn to take care of my self just a little better.

I ended up in the urgent care room with my BFF sarah, for several hours. My condition endometriosis, seems to have reminded me that its still there and i need to pay attention to what my body is telling me.

And what is my body telling me you ask?

ONE: eat!

Two: rest, or I will be in crazy amounts of pain

Three: exercise (to strengthen overall health)

Solution:

I now have the food to eat THREE times a day

I'm planning a stress free week (planning not ness. getting)

And come rain or "snow", i'm gong to go to the Proving Ground this week. (Even if my store is on fire).

I make fun but I truly was worried today, I often forget that I need to take care of my body. Please be believing with me that I will not only find a balance but that my condition can be controlled by a new medication and effort to put myself first.

Thank you for your payers and belief

Always, Elizabeth M.

Christmas already

I have sent out Christmas cards for over 7 years now. Its something i look forward to each year as October and November approach. I have been wanting to NOT brake my tradition this year but feel the typical "seasons greetings" and yea!, look how happy i am, does not fit my life, nor would i want to send that type of card out missing an opportunity to truly connect with my loved ones.

So with some thought and waiting on an idea that would fit this year, i have come up with something that i hope will bless each person on my Christmas Card List.

Yes its a secret! But i'm excited to prepare the cards. I will be alone (without family, and a husband) this year for the holidays, so i'm hoping that i will find some comfort in connecting with those i love through cards.

Please be in payer for me as I enter into a season of celebration, differently then it has been for me the past few years. I'm believe for the best always.

So let the crafting begin!

Elizabeth M...makes Christmas Cards!

100 Miles an hour...possibly in the wrong direction.

I have made up my mind. I want to work for CC's and Live in Baton Rouge. So when they called to offer my job. I decided to move back. I did not tell many people and I think I might have hurt a few. But this is where I want to start my life now. I want to be here, in Baton Rouge.

My friend Danielle sent me a card that talked about standing with nothing in front of you. She cheered me on saying that just because I don't know what is before me does not mean i have lost my way and maybe choosing to stand in spite of the fact may be strength unforeseen.

I think I have a lot of strength, and I hope faith too. I really don't know what is next. But I feel there is a journey that began some time ago. Its going to cause me to grow and i know that part of that will require sacrifice, discipline, and obedience. I think the first two i can do but that last one seems to kick my but. Primarily because, I think to much and rely too much on LOGIC.

As for running in the wrong direction (as titled for the post) i don't know. I DO know that i'm done running...i'm going to sit still for awhile and listen.

Elizabeth M

A video that I like from Casting Crowns:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OEhRucEVzH8&ob=av3n